


Wait For Me

by CrazyLabRat



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:53:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22877365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyLabRat/pseuds/CrazyLabRat
Summary: "I love and respect you both."Six words.It only took six words to break my world apart."I'll miss you."That's how he was gonna leave things.It didn't matter that we were meeting up for drinks at Mccarthy's later.It didn't matter that his locker was empty. Or that the box resting on the bench in front of him was so small.There's no way it could contain everything he meant to us.To me.It couldn't hold the smallest fraction of what we've all been through here in this lab. It definitely couldn't hold my heavy heart, either... But he was going to leave with both in his hands, all the same.
Relationships: Greg Sanders/Nick Stokes
Comments: 10
Kudos: 20





	Wait For Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my duckies!
> 
> It's been forever since I wrote a solid full length story with these two boys. 
> 
> I figured it was high time to fix that. 
> 
> This contains slight spoilers for the end of the series, but then diverges entirely. 
> 
> It's marked explicit for a reason, so please take note. 
> 
> Any and all mistakes are mine. I'll find and fix them all eventually. 
> 
> I've had this sitting in my files unfinished for over a year. It took me about an hour to finish, and two to edit tonight. Once I found it, of course. 
> 
> Hooray for insomnia! Haha
> 
> Alright, alright... enough with my nonsense. 
> 
> On with the story!

_~~~~~~~~~~~~_

_"I love and respect you both."_

Six words. 

It only took six words to break my world apart. 

"I'll miss you."

That's how he was gonna leave things.

It didn't matter that we were meeting up for drinks at Mccarthy's later.

It didn't matter that his locker was empty. Or that the box resting on the bench in front of him was so small.

There's no way it could contain everything he meant to us.

To me.

It couldn't hold the smallest fraction of what we've all been through here in this lab. It definitely couldn't hold my heavy heart, either... But he was going to leave with both in his hands, all the same.

Yeah...Nick's leaving. 

None of that means anything. Not really. What really matters is that we have one more night. One last night. 

And _tonight_ is that night. 

I always thought there'd be more time...That when I finally gathered up the courage to tell him everything, he'd be here to hear it. But now? 

It's either tonight, or not at all. 

When he leaves, he'll be wrapped up in his new job. He'll be too far away to see whenever I felt the urge. 

He's leaving me behind. 

I've spent all of this time running so fast, staring at his back and doing my best to catch up. I've always been chasing him. I've always wanted him to turn around and see me, really see me. 

I'm so close now that if I stretched with all my strength, I might just graze his shoulder blade... but he'll be too far ahead again, soon. And then I'll never be able to reach him. 

**(You are my sunshine, my only sunshine)**

It's not fair. He never told me about wanting this. Wanting to leave. I thought he was staying. He told me he was happy here.

What's changed?

Even as I'm thinking it, I want to hit myself for being so childish. Maybe being happy here wasn't the problem. Maybe this is just what he needs to do. And who was I to complain?

The stupid part is I'm just spiraling down this rabbit hole because I need him. I don't just want him. But, this is his choice. And I'm gonna have to stand here and plaster a smile on my face... Because that's what friends do. 

He took care of me, every time I got hurt, or sick... I'd come to depend on him for so much. 

That foolishness is why I'm in this mess. 

**(You make me happy when skies are grey)**

The drive home was a blur... I pulled up to my apartment and parked, but I didn't move to get out. Instead, I let my forehead fall to the top of the steering wheel and finally, finally, let myself cry. 

**(You'll never know dear, how much I love you)**

I cried for all of it. 

For all of the times I slept on his couch when I was too scared to sleep at home alone.

I cried for when he slept on mine for the same, and yet, very different reason.

For all of the times we played video games for hours on end.

For the time I had the flu, and he came over, and made me soup, and watched stupid 80's movies with me until I passed out on the couch.

For all of the times he stole my secret stash at work, and for when it would magically reappear the following week.

For every sleepless night wondering if he thought about me half as much as I thought about him.

For every smile we shared, and every hardship we bore together.

I cried for every single moment I've ever had with him. 

I cried because I was in love with my best friend... and now I was losing him forever. 

**(Please don't take my sunshine away)**

I don't know how long I stayed like that. Nor did I really care. My cell phone rang in my pocket, and I honestly didn't want to even look, let alone answer it, but my job meant I didn't have that luxury anymore. Hadn't for years now. I cleared my throat as I pulled it from my pocket and answered.

"Sanders."

I heard a laugh and my heart ached as the voice on the other line danced into my ear.

"It's just me, man. I know we said we'd meet up in a couple of hours, but I was hoping I could come hang out until then. Is that cool?"

I swallowed thickly and ran my left palm over my face, trying my best to make my voice sound normal. 

"Do you even have to ask? It's kind of weird, actually. You usually just show up..."

I trailed off as muffled sounds that I couldn't really identify filled the line while he replied. 

"Yeah well, tonight's sort of important. I thought I should call to make sure it was alright with you first." 

I chuckled, but it was for show. Laughing was the last thing I felt like doing. Tonight was important. And it made me happy to know that he felt that way about it, too. So that was some small comfort. 

"Yeah, man. I just pulled in. Just come on by whenever you're all set."

I shifted my phone to my left hand before pulling the keys out of the ignition and getting out of the car. I grabbed my kit and had made it halfway up the steps before I realized he still hadn't responded. 

"Nick, did I lose you?" 

"Nah, G... I'm right here."

I nearly dropped my kit. 

He was standing in front of me, right outside my door, holding a huge brown paper bag. 

I blinked and then laughed my ass off. Really. I must have looked like a fool, but I didn't much care. 

Finally, when I could breathe, I walked to him, still smiling. 

"What was the point of even calling?"

He just shrugged with a grin and tucked his phone away, while I did the same before quickly unlocking my door. I waved him in first then followed in after, dropping my kit just inside, and locking the door behind us. Nick was already in the living room pulling cartons of Chinese food out and setting them on the coffee table, when I looked up. 

Routine was good. 

Routine I could handle.

I made a beeline for the kitchen and grabbed plates and silverware. Stopped for a beat, took a deep breath, and forced a smile before going back out to join him. 

As casually as I could manage, I took a seat on the couch beside him, like always. Once everything was set down, I lifted a hand so I could reach for the carton of egg rolls, when a gentle press to my shoulder stopped me mid grab. 

I turned in confusion, and found him far closer than I'd expected... as he intently examined my face. 

The hand on my shoulder lifted up to cup my cheek, and his thumb gently swiped under my left eye. 

"Hey... are you alright? You look like..."

Now it was his turn to trail off, but I knew what he was gonna say. _'Like you've been crying.'_

I wanted to look down or away, to hide... but I was frozen by his touch. I felt like I couldn't breathe... and I knew I had to answer, but his thumb had taken to delicately tracing my cheekbone.

Admittedly, I was struck dumb at the intimacy of it. It was such a small thing... but in all of the years I've known him, Nick Stokes had never touched me quite like this.

I cleared my throat again and his eyes bored into mine, expectant but patient. 

"I'm fine, man. Don't worry about me."

He frowned and shook his head slightly, just once. His expression was soft though. 

"I always worry about you, Greg."

Surprise must've been clearly evident upon my face as I blinked... Seriously not sure that I'd heard him properly, but I answered all the same. 

"Well you won't have to for much longer."

I'd intended the comment to be light. 

A joke. 

But as the words left my lips, I'd realized too late that there was no humor in my tone. And I could've smacked myself. 

We only had a few more hours. Three or four, and then he'd be gone. I want them to be happy. To be something I could cherish. Something to hold onto when my world becomes empty and dull once more. 

His hand fell away. 

"That's actually something I wanted to talk to you about."

I didn't like the way his words grew heavy with meaning, so I lifted a hand to wave them away, and spoke quickly.

"I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to think about it. What I want is to eat some egg rolls and orange chicken before I kick your ass in Madden."

A look I couldn't read flashed in his eyes, but then he blinked and it was gone. He smiled and reached for a plate. 

"You're on."

There was laughter and full stomachs and empty cartons in the small bubble we'd created, and for a short time all was right in my world. 

My apartment felt like an entire planet, where only he and I existed. His every breath registered in my ears. His every slight shift, or movement caught my eye. I was so hyper aware of him, trying to burn every scene, every second into my brain. 

So, obviously, I couldn't focus on the game very well. 

His thigh kept brushing mine, and his laughter was as warm as his skin. I cherished everything. 

The way he playfully shoved my shoulder when I scored a touchdown on him. 

The way he crowed whenever he intercepted the ball or sacked my quarterback. 

The way he dropped a hand onto my knee and squeezed once, before getting up to use the bathroom. 

And sitting there alone, staring at the empty space on the couch, I almost cried again. 

I'd almost forgotten... but it's still really happening. That empty space is going to stay that way. Barren, and cold. 

I wanted to punch something. 

I wanted to scream. 

I wanted to hold him tight and beg him to stay. 

No, that's not it....

_I wanted to keep chasing him_. 

I wanted to always see him just ahead of me, smiling and waving me forward, calling me to him. 

I jumped at the sound of the real Nick clearing his throat. 

Rubbing the back of my neck in embarrassment at being caught so unawares, I lifted my gaze from the couch towards the hallway. 

He was there, leaning against the wall, arms and legs crossed, as if he'd been in that position for more than a couple of seconds. 

I wondered how long he'd been there, just watching me. I was about to open my mouth and ask, when he spoke first. Pushing off the wall and making his way back over, his voice was soft but steady. 

"I know you don't want to, but we gotta talk about this Greggo."

I ran that same nervous hand through my hair, scrubbing my scalp, and sighed. 

"Why? There's not much to talk about. You're leaving. It sucks enough already. Why make it worse? I get it, man. I do. It's too good to pass up. You're leaving, and you're not coming back... There. It's done. We good?"

I let my hand fall to my lap, and lost my breath when I felt timid fingers comb through the mess that was my hair once more. They weren't mine. 

"G, I'm trying to tell you something here..."

My phone rang, and I shivered as his hand pulled away. I took a deep breath, reached for the phone resting on the coffee table, and answered. 

Sara was already waiting for us. 

So, we left. 

I guess Nick figured it'd be easier to take one car... or maybe he just really wanted to have the talk that I was so desperately trying to avoid. 

Whatever the case, he followed me to my car, and we rode over together. 

He fiddled with the radio until he tired of it. I simply drove and waited. For the first time in years, I'm not sure what he wants from me. What is he expecting to gain from talking about something that needs no discussion? He made his choice. 

It's done.

So why drag it out? 

"Do you ever think about the future?"

His question admittedly caught me off guard, and words didn't immediately come to me, so he continued. 

"I don't mean like tomorrow, or next week... I mean like five years from now. Do you ever just sit back and _really_ think about it?"

I slowed the car down as we hit a red light and sighed when we came to a stop. 

"Yeah, man. I mean, doesn't everyone? I know you have to go. You can't pass this up. I wouldn't want you to... because you'd regret it. Maybe not right away. Maybe not even for a few years. But eventually, you'd look back and wish you'd taken this shot. You deserve it. And I want you to have it..."

I trailed off weakly, unable to finish the thought. Because it was embarrassing and quite frankly, it'd reveal too much. 

" _But?_ "

He knew me too well though. Obviously. I pretended to be engrossed in checking my mirrors and my blind spot to buy a moment as the light changed and I continued to drive. 

"But everything is changing. Everyone is leaving. You guys are my family. And one by one, you're all moving on. I'm just... I'm stuck. Just sitting here and watching you all go... helpless to do anything about it." 

A hand landed reassuringly on my shoulder, and gently squeezed once. 

"There's nothing to be done, Greg. Change is inevitable. But that doesn't mean that we care any less, or that any of us don't see you as family too."

I let out a long breath as I finally pulled in to our destination. 

"I know that... but it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt having to watch you go."

I put the car in park, and released my seat belt. I could see Sara's car a few spots down on the left. 

"What do you see when you picture the future?"

Again, the question threw me off. I was getting frustrated, because I knew he was not going to let me pretend this was just any other night... which was strange. 

Stokes usually wasn't one to push a subject. All the same, I answered quickly, and with more bite than was necessary. 

"I don't honestly know much, not counting the big details. A house, love... and until last week? You. My best friend. But life doesn't give a fuck about the plans you make, or the future you see. It happens in small shifts, and in rapid chaotic tsunamis, and all you can do is roll with the tide, or drown."

His hand lifted from my shoulder to ruffle my hair again. 

"I see you, too."

I blinked once, twice, but he just smiled in this unfamiliar way. Not really knowing what to do with his cryptic answer, or this new expression, I moved to open the door. 

"We should head in."

And so, we did. 

Nick bought all of the rounds, just as he promised. With the small exception of the first. _I_ bought them... To celebrate his good fortune. Sara seemed somewhat preoccupied, but still we drank for a long while. Trading stories, fond memories, and embarrassing moments, in a lighthearted and carefree way. 

We made it an evening to remember. 

When Nick got up to use the bathroom, about four beers in, Sara leaned over and said something unexpected. 

"You need to say something. It's now or never, Greg."

Now I'll admit I was pretty tipsy, so it took a moment for understanding to hit me, and when it did I almost spat Yuengling all over the table. But Sara just laughed. 

"Take it from someone who knows... there's nothing worse than having to go to bed every night thinking about all the things you could have, or should have said. Say what you need to, before it's too late."

I blinked and moved my eyes down to the cool bottle between my fingers. 

"It's not that easy... I can't... he doesn't... It doesn't matter anymore."

She held up an impatient hand, successfully cutting me off. 

"It matters. To you, _and_ to him. I know it's not easy. But the things in life that really matter? They never are."

I opened my mouth to respond, but Nick sat down with a fresh round and we all went back to pretending to be happy. 

A while after that, Sara had to call it a night. I, myself, was too drunk to drive... as were they, so I called two cabs. One for her, and one for Nick, and I. 

We let the bartender know that we'd grab our cars in the morning... and far sooner than I would have liked we were giving Sara hugs, as she stepped into her cab. 

Ours approached just behind it. 

Climbing in was a ridiculous affair, but we managed it after a minute. I plopped down and shut the door behind us, while Nick gave the driver my address. I wondered why only mine, for a careless moment, before I remembered that I drove us out. And when he sobered up, he'd need his car for the long drive. 

So I laid my head back, and stared up at the roof. 

Nicky laughed and leaned back, but I'd heard it more than I'd seen it. Heat radiated up my side, his body swaying much closer than was strictly necessary. 

I wasn't complaining. 

"You can't be that drunk, G. I've seen you knock back way more, and stay awake. Don't pass out on me now."

I smiled and rolled my head to the left to watch him laugh at me.

"Nah, man. I'm good. Just sad. Trying to think of the best way to say good bye... and honestly? I've got nothing."

The light and laughter drained from his face, and they left a serious mask in their wake. I hated it. Particularly since it was my fault. 

"Why do we have to say good bye?"

The question was slow and careful. Each word clearly emphasized and weighted, measured. 

"Because you're leaving. Tomorrow. Literally, tomorrow. You're moving away and lets face it, you aren't coming back. That generally means that a 'good bye' is in order."

He bit his bottom lip as he looked down and nodded once, seeming to mull over my words.

"Sure, if that were the end of the story, I could see why a good bye would be necessary... But what if that wasn't it? What if there was more?"

I frowned as he lifted his gaze to meet mine once again. Right as I was about to answer, the cab slowed, pulled over, and parked.

"That'll be $15.75."

I went to pull out my wallet, but Nick beat me to it. He handed the driver a twenty, and then we were climbing back out of the cab and making our way up into my apartment.

I knew he'd follow. 

Our conversation clearly wasn't finished. So I didn't bother checking over my shoulder as I unlocked my door. I could feel his eyes on the back of my neck, anyways.

We shuffled inside and I kicked off my shoes, smiling when I noticed him doing the same. 

My fingers lifted, to gesture towards the kitchen and offer him a beer, but he moved into my personal space directly in front of me with seemingly impossible speed and grace, and my breath caught.

His eyes were glossy, probably due to the beer, but the look shining out from them was one I can't ever recall seeing on his face before.

Two new expressions today. 

How many more will I never get the chance to see?

"Greg..."

His right hand was suddenly on my hip, and I had to swallow back a gasp at the contact. His thumb was was tucked against my skin, just under the hem of my shirt, and I had to work very hard to keep from dropping my gaze to the spot, unable to understand how it could be happening in the first place.

"I've got a question, and I've been trying to ask all day..." He trailed off and smiled almost shyly at me. I didn't understand anything that was happening, and I'm pretty sure my jaw was on the floor... and I was definitely blinking blankly, like an idiot.

"Wh-what is... I'm confused. I mean... Wait, what? A question?"

His laugh was gentle and quiet. Not condescending or mirth filled, just amused. 

"I've been trying to find the best time to talk to you... but things kept getting in the way. Look, I don't wanna think about what my life would be like if you weren't in it. So... Greg Sanders, will you come with me?"

I swallowed hard. 

So hard that it cracked my suddenly very dry throat. 

At some point, I'd taken a step back, though I couldn't recall when... and now, somehow, I found my back pressed against the door. 

Nick must've followed, he was still close... too close. 

Too close, and too warm, and too bright and I swear out loud because it's gotta be a dream. 

Or a hallucination. 

There's no fucking way it's real. 

I wanted to slap myself, to see if it hurt. But the thought came and went in a blink. He was saying my name, and waiting for an answer. I'd been too stunned to speak thus far. 

"Come with you? To San Diego?"

A bright smile and an expectant nod was his reply. He seemed to still be waiting... I searched the lines of his face over and over again, looking for the other shoe to drop. 

But there was no apparent punchline. 

He was just calmly looking back at me. 

I lifted my hand and tangled my fingers into his shirt, at the spot just over his heart. He felt real enough. 

"Why? I don't understand... you, want me to... but you haven't said anything about this-" 

Both of my hands were shaking, they still did that sometimes when my nerves are fried. His free hand reached up to gently cup the one I had still clutching his shirt, and spoke. 

"I tried. _All day_. I wanted to ask you sooner, but... you haven't been around lately, and you wouldn't let me say anything about my leaving. Not once, ever since you heard..."

A tear escaped my eye and my face burned hot in embarrassment. He just lifted the hand on my hip to my cheek and brushed it away. But once he did so, more followed before I could help it.

"You want me to come with you? For real?"

He nodded again and his gentle smile was back. 

"There's no way I'd leave you behind... Greg, I'm sorry if I haven't made it clear, but next to Sam and my family, you're the most important person in my life. I want you with me. For real."

He tilted my head up slightly, and began removing the stray droplets in quick succession before gently cupping my face with both hands.

"When I think of my life five or ten years from now, I see you... I see us. I had no intention of losing you. I just couldn't seem to get you to take a second to _listen_..."

I cut him off with a small pout, "I'm listening _now_."

He laughed again, and nodded, before taking a deep breath.

"I can see that, boss. But before you decide... There's-ah, there's something else I wanted to talk to you about..."

His confidence fled, and his whole demeanor changed. 

He was nervous. Extremely so. 

His eyes kept dancing over my face, and he was biting his lip again. I was puzzled, what could make him so uncomfortable? 

It only took a breath, but I was the one lifting a reassuring hand to comfort him now. Just on his shoulder though... I wasn't about to tempt myself, _or_ fate.

"Nicky, whatever it is, it's fine... just spit it out."

He was softly dragging his thumb over my cheek now, and I could feel his heart pounding underneath my palm, which had slid down to his chest of it's own accord, _thank you very much_.

"I could never find the right time to tell you... and if I'm being honest, a lot of that is cause I'm scared. But, well... It's time." 

He ducked his head and moved to pull away, but I didn't care for that idea. So it was me who dropped a hand to his hip to keep him close, this time. I squeezed the firm flesh there gently, in what I hoped to be a reassuring manner, but this seemed to upset him a little. 

He couldn't, or wouldn't, meet my eyes, and his shoulders slumped. Tense, closed hands fell limply to his sides.

"Nick, you're scaring me here... what's wrong? You can tell me. Nothing you say is gonna keep me from coming with you. So whatever it is, it's fine. We'll figure it out."

I don't really know what it was, my tone? 

My words? 

I'm not sure, but he finally brought his eyes up to meet mine. 

They were wet, as were his lashes, but no tears had escaped. 

I was so taken aback that I instinctively pulled him to me, into my arms, and held on tightly. Stokes doesn't cry often. I can count the number of times I've seen it on one hand.

And most times had been after he'd been buried. 

"Hey, hey... it's alright. Nothing you can tell me is gonna change anything. I promise."

I whispered into his ear as soothingly as I could manage while rubbing his back in slow circles. His arms finally came up to return the hug, and he was muttering something, but it was too low for me to catch. 

Frazzled and anxious, I asked him to repeat it... and then his lips were suddenly at my ear. 

I tried to focus on the words, and not the softness of his lips as they brushed over my now entirely too sensitive earlobe.

"I want you..."

I waited patiently for the rest of the sentence, but he seemed to be waiting too. He'd gone stock still... and I frowned.

"You want me to what? I told you... I'm coming with you. There's admittedly a bunch of crap to deal with on that end... but otherwise, what else is there?"

He was suddenly laughing. Not loud, but low and soft, and his chest rumbled against my own in the most pleasing way. He shook his head once. 

I don't know why but his whole attitude shifted again, as did his right leg, which moved in between mine. Then his hands where sliding up under the hem of my shirt and his breath was back in my ear.

It was like I'd entered the twilight zone. 

"No, Greggo. I _want_ you. For, _god_ , for a long time. I can't help it. I tried to stop but..."

Something hot and wet curled around my earlobe, and then what myst have been gentle teeth tugged once. 

A low moan entered the air... It could've been mine. 

But who the fuck cared? 

He was tracing his nose along the bottom of my jaw now... I must've lifted my head at some point to expose my neck. 

Low, torturous words bathed in a soft twang rolled out against my skin.

"You're all I think about... All the time. Every subject always somehow comes back to you. I dream about you for Christ's sake. I can't shake you. You thought I'd just leave you behind? I couldn't do that... never."

A hand was in my hair, coaxing me to lower my head and face him while he moved his whole body against mine in one smooth motion. 

I forgot how to breathe. 

What was air for, anyway?

There was a sudden shadow in his gaze. Not a heated smoldering glance, but a saddened and resigned sort of heaviness. It looked back at me through brown irises flecked with gold. 

He stopped moving, his body flush against mine from chest to thigh, and his breaths were short, but steady. 

"Can you tell me that won't change anything, now?"

I shivered. I couldn't help it. His voice was low, gruff, and sexy as fuck. It's not my fault, okay?

I felt blood rushing to flood my cheeks as I licked my suddenly desert-dry lips. His eyes flicked down to follow the movement, and I let out a small noise of appreciation. 

I'm definitely dreaming. It's the only plausible theory I've got. 

Which worked just fine for me. 

"Say it again."

He blinked, once, twice... and then his brows furrowed into the cutest expression.

He wasn't sure what I was asking him to repeat. 

Or rather, he didn't understand which part I meant... and I couldn't let that stand. 

It was surprisingly easy to shift him. 

Nick wasn't slight by any stretch of the imagination, and yet it was less than a second later that I was pressing _his_ back into the door. 

It was now _my_ leg sliding between his to get closer. 

This time it was _him_ moaning into the air when my body and my tongue curled against his warmth. 

I had his wrists pinned on either side of his head while I ground against him long and slow. My teeth gently nipped at the tender skin where his neck and shoulder met, before I used my tongue to soothe it again. 

Humming excitedly at the taste, I lazily trailed my way up, up, up, until I reached his ear. 

"Say it again, Nick. I need to hear it... I need you to say it again for me. Right fucking _now_."

I pulled back slightly so I could look right into his eyes, and ground against him once more. My eyelids fell to half mast as I groaned at the delicious friction I'd produced. 

Though, as amazing as it felt, that wasn't really the point. 

The point was for him to feel me, my desire, and to clearly understand what it was that I needed from him. 

I shifted closer and our noses brushed. Just once. I watched his throat bob as he swallowed thickly. 

The wrists I still held captive both flexed, simultaneously, but I kept them firmly in place. 

A long moment stretched out. 

Almost painfully long. 

But then, finally.... _Finally_ , his lips parted. 

"Want you. So bad. Wanted you for so long... please Greg... do something, fuck _anything_... _everything_. I need it. I need _you_."

What else could I do, after hearing something like that? There was only one logical course to follow... I kissed him. 

Softly at the beginning. Slowly. 

It was our first, after all. 

I wanted to savor it. 

To take my time, and do this right. 

His lips were plump and smooth and everything I'd ever imagined them to be... but still better, somehow. 

I suppose it was because this was real. 

He was sighing against me, and then he parted those supple lips, and I was taking that sigh in, eagerly. 

His body arched towards mine, practically begging, and it sent tingles down my spine.

I lost control of the kiss, as his tongue swooped into my mouth with an intensity that made me moan. 

Control wasn't something that mattered to me, though. 

I surrendered, and then I was lost. 

Nothing mattered anymore if it was happening beyond where we touched. 

I'm not sure how it happened, but when we parted for air, if only briefly, I registered that I was perched on my dining room table. Nick was settled firmly between my parted legs, with his hands resting just above where the curve of my ass began. He was forcing our hips together, and it was too-fucking-good-not-close-enough, and I was panting while he sucked and nibbled on a tender spot just under my ear. 

My hands couldn't touch him enough. 

His shoulder blades as they flexed, and his waist where that muscular indent of his hips disappeared into his jeans. 

His hair, his jaw, his fucking delectable ass. 

But the best part?

I mean, the very _best_ part?

He was a talker. 

And it was like once he'd started, he couldn't stop. 

"You're always so fucking irresistible. I've wanted to touch you like this for years. God damn, you're gorgeous..."

I was panting so heavily that I couldn't hear it all. But by god, did I try. 

"-w long... I've been fantasizing about this moment, you here, making those sounds, wanting me, begging me... fuck. I already touched you too much... too often. I knew that. But I couldn't stop..."

Why the fuck should he stop?

"-t I don't just wanna fuck you Greg. I want you to be mine. I want my name to be the one you scream when you come, every time. I wanna take you, make you ache for me, make you come so hard you can't stand. Do it over, and over, and over again..."

Fuck, yesss. 

" -nd soaked. And then I wanna take care of you. I wanna hold you, and fall asleep next to you every damn night." 

Dark dilated eyes seemed to be drowning me... because I definitely couldn't breathe. 

"... okay? This isn't a game G. I'm not playing around... if, if we do this, there's no going back. So tell me you want it, baby. Tell me you want me..."

I whimpered... I admit it. 

But judge not, lest ye be judged. 

To be fair, it was either that or come in my jeans on the spot. 

During all of his gravelly, heady talking, he'd thumbed a denim and metal barrier open, pulled down my zipper, slipped a deft hand inside, and curled his strong fingers around my cock. 

I tried to pull his lips back to mine, but he was having none of it. He wanted an answer, and I was going _insane_. 

I whimpered again. 

"Yeah, Greg. You like it right? You like the thought of me touching you, tasting you, loving you? Come on, darlin'... you gotta say it. I need to hear it. I need you to understand what I'm asking for here, what I want. Say it for me, G."

"Nicky, _please_..."

His palm twisted in the most deliciously slow and sensual way. 

"Come _on_ baby. Say it. I'll make it so good. I'll be so good to you. I swear... Just be mine... All you have to do is say the words. Just once."

I grabbed his wrist. 

I needed to, because I needed brain power to speak, and because one more pull would've been all it took. 

He froze, and a shadow of fear crossed his sharp, sculpted features. Which wasn't allowed. 

I hooked my right leg around him to keep him close, and to relax him until I gathered myself enough to speak.

"Needed a second... Too good... _Shit_."

He relaxed, and flexed the palm still wrapped around my twitching length. I whimpered again, and took a deep breath. 

"I've been trying, for _years_ , to catch up to you, to make you _see_ me. You're everything... everything to me. Do I want it? Nick, I've never wanted anything more in my entire _life_..."

He moved so quickly, I didn't immediately register the action. One second I was talking, and the next I was pinned flat against the table. 

He was growling the words 'yes' and 'mine' into my mouth, against my tongue. 

His hands were everywhere. 

Flicking a nipple gently, trailing fire down my sides, curling into my hair. 

I did my best to drive him just as crazy, but it was all I could do to keep from losing it right there. 

A moment later I was being lifted, hoisted up, and wrapped around him. I groaned because as skinny as I might appear, I know I'm not light... but he picked me up and carried me like it was nothing. 

He was licking and kissing along my jawline as he maneuvered us through my apartment and into the bedroom. 

The next thing I knew, I was naked on my back, in my bed...

And then my toes were curling and my hands were twisting into my own sheets.

Soft, tight, wet perfection was wrapped around the entirety of my cock. Sucking. Licking. Swallowing. I was on fire and melting, simultaneously... and then I was crying out Nick's name... and trying to pull away, but he pinned me down and I could do nothing more than submit to the orgasm he wrenched from my quaking body.

I don't know how long I was left floating in euphoria. 

I only know when I felt miles of soft skin and hard muscle press against every inch of my frame. I was blanketed by him, which was a whole new level of glorious... but I wasn't pinned, and then I realized he was stroking himself. 

And then I was watching him. 

The way he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. 

The way sweat beaded and began to drip down his body. 

The way the muscles in his right arm corded and retracted as he fisted himself. 

The way his gaze jumped from my eyes, to my lips, to the rest of me, over and over again. 

The way he groaned and trembled when my left hand covered his. 

The way his chest flexed and his throat bobbed as I licked at his jaw. 

The way his eyes fell shut as he finally crested and broke above me.

The way he whined as his hips desperately drove on while I pumped him through the waves.

The way his mouth blindly sought mine out when he finally stopped feeling the aftershocks. 

I kissed him and kissed him, unable to stop... until the darkness took me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took the better part of a month to get my shit in order. 

I had to train a replacement, and sublet my apartment. 

I had to pack and answer endless amounts of questions. 

I had to file a change of address, and sell some of my furniture. 

Endless amounts of tasks to sort through.

But I finally made it. 

Our new house was spread out before me, and I couldn't wait to surprise him. 

I was two days early. 

My stuff wouldn't be delivered until tomorrow. And I couldn't wait to spend a stress free evening with him. 

It sounded like nothing less than heaven on earth. 

It was nothing to get in quietly. I had a key, after all. 

Sam barely did more than twitch his tail from his spot on the kitchen floor when I crossed the threshold. 

Nick was handwashing dishes and humming a small tune to himself while he worked... and it hit me how beautiful the scene was. 

I'd done it. 

I'd _reached_ him. 

I'd just never known that the whole time he'd been watching and waiting. He'd never been running on ahead. 

He'd always been walking backwards, with his arms outstretched, and calling out. 

Waiting for me to understand.

Waiting for me to get a fucking _clue_. 

His voice sounded softly above the running water...

"The other night dear, as I lay sleeping... I dreamed I held you in my arms. But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken... So I hung my head and I cried..."

I glanced around at our dinette set.... at the view of the back yard through the window above the sink... at the way the sunlight filtering in set a glow to his skin. 

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine... You make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know dear, how much I love you..." 

I was perfectly content to watch and listen in silence for the rest of my life...

His voice drifting softly to my ears, the smell of soap in my nostrils, and a heady warmth settling down deep in my bones. 

Because I would, for the rest of my life, do exactly that...

I'm home.

**(Please don't take my sunshine away)**

~~~~~~Owari~~~~~~

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, lovelies.... there you have it. 
> 
> If you liked it, be so kind as to show me some love. 
> 
> And maybe tell me why, or even why not?
> 
> Feedback is fuel for my muses. 
> 
> Until next time!
> 
> ~ TLR


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